For those of you who hmmmed and hawwed over my previous comments about bigfoot and how my nephew would like to see one, well he has been vindicated. He had informed me before he made the long trip this summer from Texas to the Sacramento Mountains that there were bigfoot (that just doesn’t sound right until you try using bigfeet instead) in the mountains where I plopped down a darn good pile of money to live. I scoffed and went about the business of making his stay as difficult on my body as possible without going to the hospital.
This evening I thought to check out the bigfoot site for sightings. Sure nuff I find that only ten counties in NM have any sightings and my county has the most, 10. Jehoshaphat. Get prison bars for my windows and doors and Cujo for the backyard. Whoa momma get a grip. Let me massage the data a little. 1976-2008 so that’s 32 years for those 10 reports. Been three years since the last. Most are in the deeply wooded Mescalaro area around Ruidoso. I’m feeling safer. Cancel those bars. Pry Cujo’s teeth offa the neighbor boy’s behind and return him. I wonder how many people haven’t made reports because they didn’t want to be thought of as nuts.
Maybe leave the bars.
Hey there is still openings to be part of the all-female BFRO Expedition to East Texas. Couldn’t get me out in those dark, wet woods for all the money under all the sofa seat cushions in Texas. Nov. 3rd through the 6th for those of you who like thrills.
I’m talking myself into an ape attack… Let me think this out logically. I’ve taught junior high kids for 20+ years. One hundred eighty-eight times a year I walk in front of 120 sometimes stinky, growing hairier every minute, hormone driven teenagers who tower over me like I need to carry around a step stool. And I can do it without breaking a sweat. I’ve got a seldom used tone of voice that can shrink a body, freeze 48 feet and rattle windows 100 feet away. I’ve got better vision in the eyes in the back of my head than in the ones looking forward.
Blood pressure and breathing returning to normal. I can do this. I can be the tough old broad who goes out and looks for bigfoot.
I wonder if they will have wine coolers at the expedition.